she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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