I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
