none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
