this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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