I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
