That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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