i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
