Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
