And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
