You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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