but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
