think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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