Heybabeimwearingurpanties
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize