he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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