Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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