For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
