Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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