I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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