I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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