I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
