Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
