also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
