roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
