its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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