We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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