she was so not down for the gang bang
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Randomize
