When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
