Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
