I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
