He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize