What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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