you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This house was built for laser tag.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
