There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
