It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
