well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
