community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize