I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
