I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
