Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
