After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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