You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
a search helicopter?!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize