I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
