Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
