You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize