Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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