i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
