All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
