no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize