I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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