i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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