yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
