he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
