I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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