I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
