don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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