We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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