I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
