I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
