i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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